Sexual Assault

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Author: reachout.com.au
Topic: Sexual Health

Sexual assault is a crime. It can be hard to accept that someone you care about has deliberately hurt you. It's not just about hitting. Abuse can also include using force or fear to make you do things that you don't want to do.

Forcing you to have sex when you don't want to, or forcing you into having sex by making you think you will be harmed if you don't, is a serious criminal offence.

• 'Sexual assault' in everyday language is a general term, which includes rape, but also other offences such as indecent assault.
• The definitions and labels for sexual offences differ slightly - in some states sex without consent is called 'rape', in others it is called 'sexual assault', 'sexual intercourse without consent', or 'sexual penetration without consent.  
  

Why do people sexually assault others?
Sexual assault is not about offenders getting pleasure from sex, but rather about them asserting power and control over someone else. Some offenders have been abused themselves, but this is not always the case and there is no evidence that being a victim/survivor of sexual assault means that a person will become a perpetrator. Sexual assault is a crime and is never justified. It is never the fault of the victim.

How sexual assault might effect you
Everyone reacts to sexual assault differently. It can have a range of immediate, short-term and long-term effects on physical and emotional well-being. Effects can include:

• Shock & Denial - e.g. "has this really happened to me?", "why me?"; an inability to accept that it has really occurred.
• Fear - of the offender, of getting close to other people, of being alone or of having to deal with the medical, legal or social consequences of the crime, of being rejected because of the experience.
• Silence - being unable to talk about the assault, to describe what it means or feels like; afraid of being judged.
• Anxiety- being unable to relax or to feel safe.
• Depression - feeling sad and as if things are hopeless.
• Guilt & blame - a feeling of "why did I go there/allow it/not fight back?".
• Low self esteem - feeling unworthy, not confident or deserving, feeling ashamed and dirty.
• Isolation - wanting to be alone, closed off from family and friends.
• Nightmares & flashbacks - images and memories of the assault intruding on daily life and sleep.
• Mood swings - going from anger and rage to tears and despair.
• Loss of confidence - in work, in study, in social and intimate relationships.
• Loss of trust - within social or family relationships.
• Being afraid or uncomfortable about sexual relationships
  

Communication
Communication is important for all relationships. Surveys report that guys in particular are anxious about communication. Many feel that they need to "have a few drinks" before they are able to talk to girls. Sometimes they might need help to find more positive ways to handle shyness and the fear of rejection.

Without communication there can be no real relationship. If communication is poor or not valued, negotiating the boundaries of the relationship will be difficult, if not impossible. Poor communication can lead to conflicting expectations, especially about sex. Sex without consent is sexual assault - there is no room for confusion.

Stay safe and play it safe
Most violence against women occurs within a relationship - that's why learning how to build healthy relationships is so important. But trouble can happen outside relationships - with strangers or people you don't know well.
Think about the things you can do to keep safe and out of trouble. This might include:

• Plan to go out and hang out in a group.
• Go with people you feel safe with and who you know have your best interests at heart.
• Look out for yourself and your friends - good friends make sure that their friends are safe and make safe choices.
• Have some transport plans to make sure you can get there and back safely.
• Let someone know (parents, brother/ sister, housemate) where you are going, and when you'll be home. If your plans change let them know.
•  Alcohol and sex can be a dangerous mix. If you are not in control of yourself, you won't be able to control the situation.
• Remember if you are so drunk that you don't know if the other person is consenting - stop. It could be rape. When you know that the other person is so drunk they may not be capable of giving consent - don't do it - because this would be rape.
• Don't be alone and isolated with someone you don't know well. If you start to feel uncomfortable, go with your feelings, and get to a safe place as fast as you can.
  

Agreeing to one type of activity such as kissing doesn't mean there is a 'green light' for other sexual contact - remember it's OK to change your mind and say "no" at any stage. You shouldn't stop being careful just because you know the person you're with - you may not know them as well as you think.

Sexual assault and the law
Sexual assault is a crime. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted either recently or in the past then you have a right to report it to the Police. If you decide to report an assault to the Police then an officer trained in talking to victims of sexual assault will take your statement. They may also ask you to have a medical examination, which is where a doctor or health professional makes sure you're physically okay and takes evidence.