Managing Anniversaries And Special Occasions

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Author: reachout.com.au
Topic: Loss and Grief

Ideas for managing anniversaries or birthdays
Around the time of an anniversary or birthday it is common to experience feelings of sadness for the person you have lost. Along with feeling sad, there may also be other feelings that are associated with your loss. It is important that you are able to express these feelings and manage them.

To help to manage these feelings you may want to:

Plan for the day - Treat the anniversary or special occasion in the same way as you do other important days. Plan ahead. Talk with your family and friends about how best to remember your loved one.

Allow yourself to be sad - Special occasions are usually a time you have spent with the person you have lost. It is normal to feel sad that they are not with you. It may help to take some time out, to remember the person you love. You may want to:

• Find a quiet spot to remember all the good things about the person
• Go and do something that you used to do together
• Write a letter to the person
• Revisit that favourite spot you had
• Share some of the memories
  

Look after yourself - Remembering that this may be a tough time for you is important. This may mean that you have to treat yourself with a bit of care. Avoid making major decisions until after the occasion is over. If possible, treat yourself to something you enjoy doing. It may be that you:

• Go to the beach
• Go for a walk
• Kick a footie
• Listen to music
• Go shopping
• Have a massage
• Hang out with friends.
  

Avoid bottling stuff up - Keeping things to yourself may mean that the tension builds up inside you. Finding a way to express what you are feeling may help you to feel better. You may like to talk to someone, write your thoughts down, draw, or punch some pillows. Check out the Express Yourself fact sheet for more ideas about how to get stuff off your chest.

Talk to someone - Having someone you trust to talk to about how you are feeling may be helpful. This may be a family member, friend or youth worker. If you are finding it hard to cope with day-to-day stuff then it may help to talk to someone like a counsellor. Check out the Finding Help section for more information about what a counsellor does.